Wednesday, September 18, 2013
What’s in A Name Again?
Funny thing, I finally post my examination the Origins of this Blog, A Recovering Ubergeek. I realized I was not done. I realized another meaning to this title. I am recovering from an abusive situation and I am an Ubergeek. This meaning was implied in the last article on the subject. I felt though it needed to be obvious. This post will be fairly short. I am a survivor of abuse and this most recent period, a fourteen year relationship, was the worst in my experience. At the time I was unable to truly see it for what it was. I was too close to the situation. I allowed someone to make me responsible for everything in both our lives without any real decision making power. I gave up too much of what made me who I was. That has led to where I am I now; trying to figure out who I am and who I want to be. The overwhelming problem is not what can’t I do but deciding from the infinite possibilities. The funny thing is that this is in many ways a wonderful problem to have.
In the Future, I am going to be more about self interest. That does not mean I am putting myself above others in a negative way. It means I will not subsume my necessities to the point I have in the past. I will not give up my necessities or parts of myself to please others. I will surround myself with people who would never ask for that. I will do better about boundaries my own and others. I will let things happen in their own time not my own. No rushing any relationship, be it a friendship or an intimate relationship. People will need to accept the whole me, including that dorky nerdy Ubergeek part of myself; especially that part of me. If people are not interested in getting to know me, I will let it go. If it is meant to happen it will happen. Forcing things never works. What I left is proof of that. I also need to remember sometimes the destination is not always the most important thing. Sometimes the Journey itself is everything. Well That Is My Not So Humble Opinion.