Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Some Reflective Material

December 12th is the Anniversary of my present path; I left a lot of heartache and sorrow three years ago.  This year has been a struggle.  I have been unemployed, and struggling with finding a job.  When I stated this journey I went from two jobs down to one, now I have none.  I have been dealing with something I did not know was a major concern, my health.  In gaining as much weight as I have, I have found out I have high blood pressure and low endurance.  Not to worry, I am being monitored by health care professionals.

One thing I have discovered is who my true friends are.  I discovered a Facebook group started by my favorite author.  It has been an outlet for discussions I do not know I needed. It also introduced me to dear online friends.   I have two friendships that have shockingly been wonderful and desperately needed.  Eric B and Mary thank you for being there and being my friends.  I discovered that many of the friendships I thought I wanted were not what I needed.  The ones I got surpassed any expectations.

As to my goals, due to lack of a job and therefore money there were many things I was unable to do.  That was mostly the larger events.  The things I did get to do were more appreciated by me.  I did a few Monster Kid Radio Crashes.  I went to two Funemployment Radio Network Events.  I saw my friend Wilton perform with his bands at least once.  I find myself parting with more of my things; I am even considering parting with some of my Action Figures.  The Geek Community things are right now not at the forefront of my thinking.  I enjoy being there with my friends, but I have trouble with large noisy situations. 

Funny enough, I had only planned to write 12 blog articles.  The rest of the year was supposed to be about fiction writing.  With this piece I have 32 pieces under my belt, including a poem from my University days.  As of this writing the Recovering Ubergeek Blog has 4,431 hits.  I repackaged some of my work from my Shadowrun Shamanism Website days.  That started in April and ended in September of 2014.  In it short run it had, as of this writing, 1,268 hits.  My plans for the Recovering Ubergeek blog in 2015 are uncertain.  I still have at least 3 more articles in the pipeline.

I did get to fiction; I finally finished my first piece of fiction in 16 years.  I have many pieces I started, but never finished.  This was a piece I wrote for a friend in their setting.  It is a very nice and welcome beginning.  Years ago I said I would never play in someone else’s sandbox.  This case was someone I knew, not some impersonal, uncaring corporation.  It fit best in their setting and was an idea I have been play with for 16 years as well.

I have done two things I am proud of, begun an exercise regimen (walking a mile every other day) and being more regular with hygiene.  In the old, life I gave up, that included taking care of myself.  I have learned to love who I am and where I am going.  I still struggle with caring what others think, specifically those not in my direct circles.  I am caring less, but for me it takes constant work.  I am discovering what kind of people I want to surround myself with.  With what I have been through, I am quite a picky person on that particular subject.

Things I wish to accomplish in 2015 are going to Rose City Comicon and Ory Con, writing more fiction, getting things figured out for a possible return to college (I have 4 years and no degree),  finding work, moving to the immediate Portland area instead of the outskirts (where I am now), and maybe drawing again.  Things that I am toying with are the possibilities of beginning my own podcast, working as a civil rights activist, and culinary school.  Those possibilities are contingent on other things.  For a podcast I need a newer computer and sound equipment. Culinary school is only going to happen once I finish my degree.  The civil rights work, I am not sure with where or how to begin. 

I needed this year to rethink things.  I needed to see that what I needed and what I wanted or expected were not the same things.  2013 was about me getting out into the bigger world.  2014 was about me learning what was truly important and what I needed.  I may find out in 2015 things about myself and where I am headed that may amaze me.  That is more than likely since it happened in the preceding two years. 

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