Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Survival & Challenges
A term that gets overused these day is survivor, as in survivor of any traumatic or life threatening event. With a catastrophic health issue I understand its use. In the media it sometimes feels over used. I could claim that label multiple times, a survivor of childhood physical abuse, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, an adult child of an alcoholic, and a survivor of domestic abuse. I have had quite a few challenges in my life. I have had people tell me, they would be permanently stuck in the fetal position if they had been me. Among my challenges, thing I need to overcome, are a hearing impairment, a cleft lip and palate, several medical conditions as a result of those birth defects, a learning disability, depression (possibly Seasonal Affective Disorder), and ADD. All of these things are part of me, but they do not define me.
My problem with the word survive is that in means just surviving a traumatic event is enough. It is true that some don’t survive it. Some however never get past it or allow it to control their lives. What I think is good for dealing with these types of challenges is surviving and thriving. What I mean by thriving is to grow and be strong after such difficulty. I myself am not a perfect example of this, but it is something I work towards. I strive to survive and thrive. I am not trying to be flippant about this, surviving and thriving are not easy tasks. It takes years of work, determination and will to do so. These obstacles are not easy to overcome.
Many folks have difficulty overcoming those obstacles. Am I saying they are less for not being able to do so? No, I am not. Some folks need more help than others to get through these things. I just know what I decided to do in my situation. The reason why I strive to thrive is it is a way to not let those who have hurt me to win. I am a fighter, I always have been. I have fought to function at the same level as most others. My physical obstacles have never made that easy. I have never had any thing easy, due to that I cherish what I have.
I am not some perfect paragon, as of July 2015, I am still living with family and unemployed. I still struggle daily with my weight and physical conditioning. I am working to resolve these things in me. I have support and people who care. I still deal with other obstacles that interfere with what I desire. Raging or crying does not resolve it. I have learned how to create plans of action for my needs. Do I always do as I plan or accomplish what I plan? No, I do not. I do brush myself off and do it again until I succeed. For me giving up is not an option. Back as when I was a kid in the 1970’s there was a toy called the Weebles. They were egg shaped people and animals. They had a slogan, “Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.” That is part of my strategy in life, I take the hits, but I won’t let it keep me down. I am not everybody else, and others have their own strategies.
I am not immune to wanting to give up. With my history of fighting just to function day to day due my physical challenges, there is a voice in my head that won’t let me give up. My inner voice is not nice either. It comes down to doing the best you can with what you have and learning how to use as many resources as you can. This all based on my personal history, everyone else’s experiences with vary.